Medicine: Infant Sleep
Let me begin each post about pediatrics and medicine with the reality that each child is unique and most things do not need rigid formulas to follow. The recommendations I share are from current scientific literature, pediatric practice, and personal experience. It is important to have your own relationship with your personal pediatrician and advice offered here does not replace that.
Sleep is a critical part of all of our lives. The lack of sleep and disrupted sleep is definitely a challenge for us as parents. But as with many things in parenting and life, our expectations play a big role in how we handle challenges.
One question that I hear asked a lot, especially to moms of newborns is, “How is he/she sleeping? Sleeping through the night yet?” And I cringe, because that is continuing the expectation that newborns should sleep through the night. No, newborns should not sleep through the night. The newborn period is a time of bonding, rapid growth, and adjustment. Newborns have tiny stomachs and need to eat frequently and sleep for short periods of time.
So please do not feel stress or pressure if your newborn is not sleeping more than a couple of hours. We need to adjust our cultural expectations of newborn sleep.
Babies should not sleep “through the night” or more than 4-5 hours without eating until they are over twelve pounds and around three months of age. Once they are over 12 pounds and closer to six months, they may sleep 5-6 hours at a time and by 9 months to a year may be sleeping up to 8-10 hours at night.
There is a lot of discussion and many books about “sleep training.” I hesitate to recommend one in particular, because most have time formulas to follow. As parents we really tend to want a step by step formula to achieve the goal we desire. But I’ve found that we end up rigidly following the formula instead of studying our child, focusing on our unique family rhythms, and developing a relationship of nurture and trust. Not that you can’t have these things with a time schedule, but the importance of responding to your infant with soothing, nourishment, and consistency supersedes following a formula. Sometimes formulas work and sometimes they lead to stress and guilt. Remembering that the newborn/infant stage won’t last forever, adjusting your expectations, taking naps yourself, and accepting help from friends and relatives so you can rest too can help you through this season.
The first year of life is full of rapid growth and change, but it is also a crucial time for attachment and security. My hope is that our expectations regarding sleep will be influenced by the importance of nourishing your infant, not only with breast/formula feeding but with love and connection.
Infant Sleep Tips
Realistic expectations can help with disappointment or frustration
Infants should not sleep more than 4-5 hours until they are over 12 pounds which may be around 3 months of age
Establish a consistent soothing bedtime routine with low light, low noise, and a calm environment
Keep your infant in your room for six months to one year sleeping in a crib or bassinet on his/her back without pillows, stuffed animals, or other suffocation risk items.